Four years ago! Wow! I can hardly believe it, but at the same time, I can. As I look back, I see God's hand throughout it all. It seems that each semester required looking to God to know whether I could go back and confessing that I couldn't do it apart from Him. But each time, He provided and was faithful to take care of me.
This summer began with questions of whether I should go back this fall... I will be honest, I was seriously considering not returning. While finances played a big role in it, I also felt very worn down and wasn't sure I could handle it in any way (physical, emotional, spiritual, and yes, financial). But God used India to show me that maybe I should finish college, at TMC. I returned home planning to finish at TMC.
A week before leaving, the test came... I was reading Jerry Bridges book, Trusting God (I highly recommend it!) at the time, which proved to be very timely. Yet again, the test of trusting God when the way seems impossible came to visit me.
Have you tried packing and preparing for a trip, wondering if you will even be able to go? Its not easy! But time and again, God reminds me that He is faithful. The Psalms have been encouraging along with passages like 1Thess. 5:24. On top of reminders from His word, He's proved Himself faithful in many other ways. It has been amazing to see that when I am struggling to have faith in Him, He brings little reminders; maybe a huge discount or a phone call or something else. God's resources are limitless!
The really cool part about reading Trusting God through this was not only the encouragment it provided, but most of what it said, I had learned through God working in my own life. And through those lessons, I find that while I am still really afraid at times, I can recall all the times God has been faithful, though it seemed impossible. There's hope in knowing God is sovereign, even in the times when it seems like our world is falling apart, because He is good and He says, "... all things work together for good". Though in mentioning Romans 8:28, we must not forget that He doesn't promise this to the one who is living their own sinful life, but to the one who has surrendered their life to Him.
As much as I might like the idea of completing the tests of faith, I am sure that God is not finished with me yet. But the book of James has something to say about this, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
More to come on the issue, I am sure.
Until then, peace.
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