Impatient

I have always dreamed of what the future could hold. Some dreams I have seen come to fruition and some have not, whether because its not yet time or that they never will. This summer one of my biggest dreams came true; I got the priviledge of spending a month in India. It was a high point in my life for sure. But it has been followed by discontentment and discouragement. I can't tell you how many times I've questioned whether I should keep going the way I am, but God has continued to remind me that He is faithful and that He wants me to keep going this way.

Now that I am back at TMC, I feel discontentment and discouragement even more though. I basically cried out last night in frustration, wondering what I was doing here, wishing I could have closed this chapter of my life already. Why can't I be through with college and already have my debts paid off? Why can't I be where my heart thinks it belongs? Why must I struggle through three more semester and spend who knows how long, paying off my loans?

Has God answered these questions? No. Sometimes I must realize that it's not for me to know right now. Oh how I hate that! I long for the day I reach heaven and am able to look back on this life, with all it's highs and lows, and it will all be a distant memory with no more questions.

In His perfect timing... God works all for good. But right now, I must work on trusting Him and waiting on His timing. And one day, if God thinks its best, I will get to do and be where I wish I could be now.