The Promising Path Doesn't Always Look Promising

I have this feeling that I need to update whoever reads this on my life. Really there isn't much to say at this point. The past two months have been far from easy, in fact I think they win the award for being the hardest of my entire life. It's hard to say goodbye to all your hopes for the future and wonder what the future will look like. I knew returning to life in Oklahoma would be hard, but even I didn't know it would be this hard. I really believe I have seen the darkest days of my life (thus far) in the past two months. It wasn't that long ago that I was ready to give up, but by God's grace, I held on.

I've been trying to understand the point in all this and why God is allowing me to go through this huge trial. And I still don't know why, for sure. But I think I needed it. He's helped me to understand things that I couldn't have known without it. If I didn't return home like this I wouldn't have completely understood that this is not where I belong. And if I didn't go through losing all my dreams, then I wouldn't see how selfish I am (still a work in progress). If I didn't go through this then my faith wouldn't be tested and there would be no growth.

Yesterday the message at church was about the Path to Promise, taking a look at David's life before he became king of Israel. It was a really good message. One thing that he said that really stuck out to me was, "He takes us on a path that helps us see things about Himself and ourselves that we would not see otherwise, though it might not seem efficeint to us". We want things to be easy and direct, not to mention fast, but in God's wisdom, He takes us on the scenic route many times. One day I will see the promise fulfilled, but until then I need to be humble and faithful where God has me, whether that's in Oklahoma, California, India, or somewhere else.